Graphic Design Boy: I love you.
Me: *glare* YOU aren't Edward.
Graphic Design Boy: Uh...what?
Me: Edward. In this book. Edward is the perfect man.
Graphic Design Boy: Okay, um, you know he's not real, right?
Me: *pines*
I know I'm not alone here-- one of my students told me that Edward and Bella's relationship made her question every human relationship she's ever had.
But it's not real.
I need to qualify all this before continuing: I believe in teenage love. I think it can be powerful, intense, long-lasting, and undeniably real.
But while Edward and Bella are powerful, intense, and long-lasting, they aren't real-- at all, in my opinion. Their love is incredibly unrealistic-- they're crazy for each other in the very literal interpretation of the word "crazy." They have no doubts or second guesses about their love, sweeping kisses and caresses solve any fight, and they have no goals other than the pursuit of one another.
And I totally eat it up. Really. It's the perfect love-at-first-sight story, and I-- and about seven million other people-- grab on hook, line, and sinker.
But that brings me to the topic of this post-- authorial responsibility. Not the responsibility to show teenagers being happy, bright, bubbly characters who love their mothers and pray right before the big football game, but rather, to not skew real, human emotions and place them up on an unreachable pedestal. Do you think authors have this sort of responsibility, or is anything fair game? I'm struggling to answer the question myself; on one hand, I think writers tell a story that they feel needs to be told-- and that's it. No qualifiers, no writing-by-committee-- the story belongs to the author, and that's where the responsibility ends.
On the other hand, I can't shake the fact that it bothers me that so many people aspire to an impossible relationship goal that books like Twilight have set up for them. To me, it's very similar to the movie/magazine industry using 25 year olds to play teenagers and airbrushing abs on anything that stands still-- those things aren't real, and even though I KNOW that no human being has flawless skin, I'm still jealous of it. I still want it, I still look in the mirror and frown over the fact that I can't make my real skin look like skin that's gone through eight hours of photoshopping. I still want Edward, even though I know that he's fictional. And knowing that perfect skin and flawless hair and sexy vampires aren't real doesn't make me want them any less, doesn't make me judge myself against them any less. And I'm 24. Maybe it's because I'm around 20 teenage girls weekly for my coaching job, and I am *extremely* protective of them, but...it bugs me. I want them to know about real love, not hate themselves for something impossible.
So: Is it the authors'/magazines'/movies' job to present a more realistic view of humanity, or am I just not strong enough to draw a line between fact and fiction? Should I be able to? Should I have to? I'm by no means suggesting that fantasy can't exist or implying that people don't understand the difference between fantasy and reality, but is there any middle ground to strive for?
Just wondering.
- Mood:
curious
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chasethestars
chasethestars
Comments
There are lots of novels/movies/tv that show other types. Dreamland by Sara Dessen, for a book. Pretty much any relationship on ONE TREE HILL for tv. (TV is a little easier since they have to keep tearing people apart for episodic purposes).
No doubt you've read LOTS of non-perfect books. But which relationship do you remember?
Bella and Edward. Case in point. :-)
God knows real life isn't like that....
J
No.
And to explain why, teenagers/children are surrounded by reality every day - on the streets, in the newspapers and in tv - and that co-exists with the mindless perfection and twu wuv that the media also show. There will always be some teens who think that they have to aspire to the flawless perfection shown on tv/movies but most teens are actually pretty level-headed and are more cynical about media imagery than most grown ups. Holding yourself up against some unobtainable ideal is something you tend to get out of as you get older and realise that life is all about disappointment and endless compromise.[/tongue in cheek] I'd only really worry about someone if they started to think they were a vampire or were stopping beautiful people in the street and asking them to bite them.
I've just finished Twilight and personally, whilst I understand that Edward taps into that Heathcliff/Rochester personality type, the controlling behaviour he displays really creeped me out. But, I am a 30-something woman and I can see why teens would find that decisiveness et al very attractive. In fact, I think many of them are reading the Meyer books precisely because they know that it's completely unobtainable in real life.
Besides, there are loads of other authors out there (notably Melvin Burgess) who write about gritty real life, so it's not as though it's something that's not being catered for.
But as a writer, I can totally understand the call, the desire to be responsible in my writing and not create havoc. There's the duality between staying true to your vision and feeling a sense of responsibility for people who will be reading your stuff.
And you know what? Kudos to you for even thinking about that. You are a socially conscious, concerned person, and I think that's fantastic. If only more people were aware like that, whether or not it's needed, I think society would be a much better place.
Just my 2 cents... :D
Most teenagers have never read (and many never will read) Dorothy Sayers' books about Lord Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane, but a lot of older readers find it enormously compelling (including myself) and I can't help thinking it must be possible to do something similar in YA fiction...
And I'd love to find that in teen fiction, as well, though it's certainly not as attractive because of the work involved ;)
(Okay, I have to read that Dorothy Sayers book I have sitting around...)
But friendship, understanding, passion, romance -- combine them all, and you have true love in my book!
But I think it's both the utter fantasy of Bella and Edward, as well as the fact that they want something so much that just isn't going to work out (well, I hope they do work it out, and I'm intrigued to see how Meyer pulls it off, since there's been enough doubt sown in about the desirability of actually being a vampire, and yet she can't just have them go their separate ways, the end, without enraging 7 gazillion fans). It's the gap between what someone desperately wants, and what is possible, that creates that wild attachment to the story, I think. Both between the characters, and between the fantasy kind of love and real life. Perhaps?
As for TWILIGHT in particular--what really stuck with me about that book was not so much the relationship as a whole, as the intensity of the feelings. And I think those feelings are very real, and are very much something teens (and adults) experience, especially in first love--just getting so wrapped up in someone else you can hardly think of anything else. If I think about books/movies/TV shows where the relationship itself--how the two characters related to each other, in every way--stuck with me, it's actually the less-than-perfect, struggling to figure out how to make this thing work type ones that do. And I think that's the case for teens, too (if you consider the success of the Gemma Doyle books and Buffy, for ex).
I think that what draws readers to books is mostly the parts that ring true, not the parts that aren't believable. I don't think readers would go crazy for a book where the main character was in oh-so-perfect love but none of the feelings came off as real. And I think (I hope) that if the way the story plays out isn't completely real (love at first sight = happiness forever?), readers will pick up on that, and know that part is just fantasy.
I started re-reading Twilight on Friday--what a coincidence! :)
Btw, I read an article in a Utah paper when The Host came out and a woman said, "I asked my husband if I could call him Edward. He said no. It really bothered him." LOL
I actually agree with you on this completely--I'm really divided. I feel really protective of teenage girls and what they already go through without aspiring to achieve that kind of unrealistic relationship, but I also know that stories will be what they'll be. It's not an author's job to preach a moral, but to tell a story. Still, authors (especially ones as popular as Meyer) can be extremely influential, and I think there is some need for responsibility inherent in that.
I think the appeal of the books is the intensity of the emotions and the passion between an average girl and a very, VERY beautiful boy. It taps into the tradition of deeply passionate relationships that appeals to women of all ages (including the crazy Twilight Moms who rule the fandom and stalk the actors on set). But at the same time, I feel like I'm the only one that thinks the relationship they have is really unhealthy and Edward is borderline creepy at times (maybe I just wouldn't like someone sneaking into my room to watch me sleep without me knowing it?). I was really disappointed with New Moon, mainly because of Bella's response to Edward leaving. I felt like Meyer had been trying to portray Bella as tough-but-sensitive in Twilight, but she completely unravels in NM. She endangers her life (and has little value for it in general), treats everyone around her poorly, and is unable to function for months (all those blank pages!)... it's an extreme version of a way a girl might react, but by writing it, is she showing that that type of behavior is acceptable in the real world? That that's the way you should behave when the person you think is your soul mate acts like an ass and leaves you?
So I think the problem I have with Edward/Bella is a little different than yours... I guess I'm just a little cynical about that kind of love. I'll never understand why some women worship at the altar of Heathcliff--did they forget he digs up her coffin so they can rot together?
Okay, sorry, done rambling!
Edited at 2008-05-28 07:17 pm (UTC)
Perhaps it's because I also worked with teens for so long -- but man, it's hard enough getting through your teen years with any kind of self-confidence without having books/TV/movies setting you up for failure with ideas about perfection in love. It's not a good thing when people would rather read about a relationship and dream of being there than they would want to pursue their own. In my opinion only, of course.
In my own writing, I do aim to show realistic relationships, flaws and all. Not out of any moral obligation, but because that's the way I see the world, and that's the story I want to tell: we don't have to be perfect to be okay.
Samantha
http://froomla.blogspot.com
but i guess that's just me, judging on the death threats i've recieved from huge swathes of fangirls for dissing Edward.
personally, i like in-book relationships that aren't perfect. i like ones that are more real. or i'm not even looking for reality, as much as depth. or angst. ;D that's cool too.
and one thing i don't like is relationships where there's conflict---until they get together. and then they live happily ever after. if they fight before, they're going to fight after. i mean REALLY.
i guess as far as YA romances go, i'm way more in favor of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist than Twilight.